BEST AD TODAY ON GOOGLE ADS IS…
Jack Black Burp Contest
Brills movie marketing!
~Posted by Horiwood.Com. Hollywood. California USA. 12.26.10~
ACTOR ALEX MERAZ – SEVEN TWEETS RIZON – 12.26.10
An Arizona sense of Humor: “Just got three gold teeth for my new role! Peruvian chicks love a guy with gold teeth I have to keep telling them I’m not a rapper or a drug dealer but no one will believe me.”
Twilight Saga‘s Alex Meraz always makes me smile the way Alex tweets. His native American Indian sense of humor is very similar to Maori in New Zealand. Here’s the rest of Alex’ tweets as a working action star actor of Hollywood:
On how fame changes community roles: “Just got invited to do a police ride along…and I’ll actually be in the passenger side and NOT the back this time!”
How to announce getting selected as a sex symbol of America: “Check out my photo for PEOPLE MAGAZINES “Sexiest Man Alive issue” in stores now http://twitpic.com/37q2df“
On the joy of screenwriting is entirely one’s own–most times: “Been giggling to myself all day like a little girl…nearly finished writing a movie script and It’s a shake-weight stroke of genius!”
On prepping for Twilight filming: “Guess what script I’m reading? I’ll give you a hint…It rhymes with “Breaking Dawn pt.1″ Oops!!!”
On being a secret Miley Cyrus fan: Christmas came early!! Check out my new journalhttp://twitpic.com/3cy5x6.
Lol!
~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 12.26.10~
PINK GOES FOR THE MALIBU, PANDA, SOCCER MOM LOOK, RUNNING ERRANDS
Look at Pink. Running errands in Malibu while preggers. Lol! That Panda hat is perfect for L.A’s stormy Christmas weather right now. Dig the cute message too. Anyone who wears jandals or flip flops is more than okay in my book. Her concert of 2009, was my favorite of all the pop divas I saw perform last year at The Staples Center. She’s a total rock star entertainer when she turns out a show. Quite underrated really for how good she delivers in concert live.
~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 12.23.10~
MOSCOW AND KE$HA’S SINGING CHRISTMAS CARD FOR WORLD PEACE
This Christmas message is very sweet from the sixth most interesting entertainer of 2010 in the UK, Ms Ke$ha –as she sings festive greetings from Moscow, Russia this year. Who is that skaterboi clown in the background Ke$ha brought with her from The Valley? Lol!
World Peace!
~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 12.23.10~
OZZY OSBOURNE PRESS – TEN SOCIAL MEDIA FAVORITES – 12.22.10
Ozzy Osbourne brings a smile when talking about Lady Gaga‘s latest lamp shade discovery hyped as a millinery ‘masterpiece.’ Read what Ozzy said to US weekly below. I must admit that I do get sick of Gaga too at times. Now that she’s made her first $67 million, my love for her as ‘a struggling artist fighting for authenticity and trying to be heard’ went out the window by 80% as there are new stars to develop now as Stefani Germanotta has already passed through fames fiery hoops.
Perhaps this is what Ozzy means? To give other artists a chance now perhaps to be seen, heard, find their audience and make bank too.
The fact remains though, 25% of Horiwood.Com’s daily total audience are Gaga fans and always have been solidly for a year now. She was the big blog booster of 2009-2010. Any blogger who covered this girl, owes her a debt of thanks in a way. Me included. Her antics grew bloggers significantly. There’s no denying Gaga is a phenomenal force of pop culture to be reckoned with. She’s one talented little girl. I chose to take a break from her for a while. I wanted Horiwood.Com audiences to be more varied than Gaga fans alone. I like some of her music. Her ballads would be some favorites.
Ten posts being shared via Social Media from Horiwood.Com right now here in Hollywood are:
1. Horiwood’s Nicole Kidman news as shared via Huffington Post
2. A Helensville rugby umbrella
3. Folk girls duo, Gaia harmonies should be heard performed live
4. Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie filmmaking together
5. Vintage Hollywood: Joan Fontaine & Olivia D
7. Bloomberg’s NZ economic news forecast 2011
8. Shooting Star – Levi Johnston – 1 year ago this week
9. A cappella – Duwende & Rock with You
10. Action by Alex Meraz
Ozzy Osbourne on Lady Gaga: “I do think Lady Gaga should take a break for a little while. She’s getting to be too much, and she doesn’t watch the exposure of her clothes. She’s just too overexposed. She could be the next Madonna if she played her cards right. I like her, but I’m getting a bit sick of her. When I turn on the TV, I see her wearing another lamp shade or whatever. She needs to take a break, I think, for an hour or so. I love her, I think she’s really, really entertaining, but she’s doing a bit too much. Every day it is something else. The specialness of her is gonna get killed if she doesn’t calm it down. Who manages her? Someone should whisper in her ear and say back off for a couple of months — let people gain interest back. Let people want you, you know?”
What a hoot.
~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 12.22.10~
BECAUSE SH*T DOES HAPPEN TO FINE COAT HANGERS…
… no matter how hard they try or how few lettuce leaves they nibble on a day, this magazine cover made me LMAO in empathy and the sheer ridiculousness of choosing this as a cover story from Vogue Italia.
I love it. Maybe this model can have a career as a comedian now with her own show. Thanks Italy! Priceless humor. What an unusual yet funny cover.
~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 12.22.10~
HUGH LAURIE ON THE SHOCK HORRORS OF CONTINUING THE AMERICAN ACCENT AS A TV DOCTOR FOR 7 YEARS
Yabbering on from the magazine pages of GQ France, much awarded British actor, Hugh Laurie is riding the coat tails of his House MD costar, Olivia Wilde‘s new box office success (Tron: Legacy).
In Hollywood it always pays to back younger stars, because they become your insurance plan later in life. Seriously though, the very talented Hugh talks about the unexpected events in his California life at getting to talk in an American accent in a hospital fake setting–for six years longer than he thought would happen. He’s fun, as ever.
On House MD‘s ongoing success: When I auditioned, I thought that within two weeks it would all be over. I had not imagined that seven years later, we would still be here. At the same time, it was a good script with a complex role. I appreciated the series in its entirety– clever, funny, with the ability to express different tones. Sometimes witty, dramatic, funny, other times clownish. I found that original, I understood the character.
On the art of acting with an American accent: Frankly, I have no technique. It takes practice. There are words that I cannot say such as “murder” or “girlfriend.” Too many “r”s. I used a coach for like, 20 minutes! Terribly useless. I should not say that, it will annoy people in Hollywood. Seriously, I’m not convinced by the method. I’ve never had any acting training. Sometimes I feel guilty: Sometimes I feel fragile and I would love to posses the knowhow. But I’m not sure you can teach actors how to speak.
Isn’t he the funniest? He’s like the Jon Hamm of hospital sets drama. He keeps getting quirkier with time.
[News source: Canada's Taylor Blue]
~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 12.21.10~
THE HORIWOOD TOP TEN – MON 12.20.10 AM
Prince Harry found this kid totally amusing whose just like totally yawning in his face.
Here in Hollywood though, entertainment and celebrity news is all about a new Wisilla romance so far. Let’s go Oregon in Alaska. This romance is steamy. Definitely check out no. 1.
Enjoy!
1. Instant Heat: Sunny Oglesby is Levi Johnston‘s new love
2. Water royalties this Christmas
3. Nicole Kidman spotlights grief in debut producing effort Rabbit Hole
4. Angelina Jolie movie marketing humor – The Elise doll on E-bay
5. Entertainment Wrap Up News – Sun 12.19.10
6. Wikileaks & Julian Assange updates – 12.20.10
7. Taylor Swift gets her Rachel Hunter on
8. Mel Gibson did not make Simon Wiesenthal Center list 2010
9. She Conquered with Elegance – The Miss Elliette story
10. It’s a wrap – Larry King & family
Bonus Post: Taylor Blue of Canada‘s Music Playlist 2010
Bonus Post: 12 Other Bloggers Voices – 12.13.10
[Photo courtesy of Wenn.Com]
~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 12.20.10~
THAT GIRL LISA ON AMBER ROSE
That Girl Lisa has a blog audience who are pretty lippy. Her readers (who share Horiwood.Com’s audience too) have plenty to say. Click on her name and link for a laugh to read her blog audience’s comments when talking about Amber Rose.
Tumeke funny!
~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 12.20.10~
PINK – THE ROCK STAR IS TURNING MOM
Rock star Pink aka Alecia Moore, whose expecting baby no. 1 just tweeted:
I just watched about 20 3 yr olds in their 1st holiday recital.My heart hurts it was so damn adorable.I’m gonna b a soccer mom aren’t I?shit
How cute. Lol!
Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 12.20.10~
DON’T LAUGH, BUT….. WE ARE THE WORLD!
Guess what? We are the world.–Pavarotti‘s Buddies
According to a noncommissioned ‘survey’ by Quantcast web analytics company, with figures pulled randomly out of the top of their– hat, these nations are on Horiwood.Com (allegedly, according to wannabe Quantcast pretend cyber-stalkers of us all) daily:
| Country | Uniques (Cookies) | Uniques % | Uniques Index | Visits % | Visits Index |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| United States | 11,875 | 53.82 | 123 | 53.81 | 102 |
| United Kingdom | 1,635 | 7.41 | 147 | 7.24 | 157 |
| Canada | 1,115 | 5.05 | 128 | 5.00 | 134 |
| Australia | 765 | 3.47 | 220 | 3.37 | 230 |
| New Zealand | 515 | 2.33 | 848 | 3.07 | 1,116 |
| Germany | 450 | 2.04 | 55 | 2.03 | 81 |
| France | 345 | 1.56 | 42 | 1.54 | 47 |
| India | 315 | 1.43 | 59 | 1.41 | 84 |
| Brazil | 310 | 1.40 | 32 | 1.36 | 39 |
| Philippines | 265 | 1.20 | 108 | 1.19 | 103 |
| Italy | 250 | 1.13 | 41 | 1.10 | 52 |
| Spain | 210 | 0.95 | 39 | 0.93 | 46 |
| Mexico | 190 | 0.86 | 34 | 0.82 | 32 |
| Indonesia | 185 | 0.84 | 52 | 0.82 | 68 |
| Malaysia | 180 | 0.82 | 89 | 0.87 | 97 |
| Netherlands | 170 | 0.77 | 52 | 0.74 | 57 |
QUANTCAST’S BOGUS SURVEYS AND WHAT STATES READ HORIWOOD.COM ACCORDING TO ANOTHER NONCOMMISSIONED SURVEY
Well look who wants a bite of this Hollywood online watermelon then? Hi Quantcast! Hola.
Every week, someone tries to track stats on Horiwood.Com. The stats vary with every bogus survey. QUANTCAST makes me laugh the loudest.
For starters, I have never given permission for a survey to be conducted on Horiwood.Com, therefore none of these surveys are legit, because they don’t have access to survey blog stats, although these companies claim they do.
So, if we are to suspend our disbelief (yet again!) and “play pretensies” and believe these stats claims–here’s the US States most living on Horiwood.Com each day. According to Quantcast claims, in running order, these States are:
| State | Uniques (Cookies) | Uniques % | Uniques Index | Visits % | Visits Index |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| California | 1,910 | 16.08 | 127 | 16.60 | 125 |
| New York | 1,140 | 9.60 | 139 | 9.45 | 129 |
| Texas | 1,005 | 8.46 | 103 | 8.24 | 104 |
| Florida | 595 | 5.01 | 75 | 4.86 | 75 |
| Illinois | 515 | 4.34 | 85 | 4.26 | 87 |
| Pennsylvania | 490 | 4.13 | 85 | 4.14 | 89 |
| Unknown | 412 | 3.47 | 51 | 3.58 | 45 |
| New Jersey | 395 | 3.33 | 91 | 3.18 | 89 |
| Virginia | 365 | 3.07 | 69 | 2.97 | 86 |
| Massachusetts | 305 | 2.57 | 91 | 2.61 | 85 |
| Georgia | 295 | 2.48 | 65 | 2.53 | 69 |
| Ohio | 285 | 2.40 | 52 | 2.37 | 55 |
| Michigan | 270 | 2.27 | 60 | 2.21 | 61 |
| Arizona | 265 | 2.23 | 89 | 2.17 | 88 |
| Washington | 255 | 2.15 | 68 | 2.05 | 63 |
| North Carolina | 240 | 2.02 | 53 | 2.45 | 70 |
HOT 97 HUMOR – LIL KIM IMITATES NICKI MINAJ ON THE RADIO
Nicki Minaj started a fun feud with Lil Kim as she wants Kim’s spot in American peoples hearts. Lil Kim has been very cool about the feud. She appears to enjoy it–as she realizes that people need to get started at some place. It just happened to be on her name, when it came to Nicki wanting a piece of her audience share and market.
Here’s Lil Kim being a sport on the radio imitating Nicki. Hip hop music’s most famous widow shows she’s well humored. Cute.
~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 12.18.10~
ERIC BRAEDEN SAYS HIS NEW HIP IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN NEIL PATRICK HARRIS TWITTER RANTS
Long running soap stars are some of the hippest in the game when dishing out sarcasm. That verbalized emotion? exists on soap sets for entertainment purposes in between takes. It’s a fine art form soap casts have down pat. Eric Braden that furniture fixture of family-cool on the imaginary soap TV staple, The Young and The Restless, responds to a twitter diss by Neil Patrick Harris.
Says Braden: “I really don’t know who that fellow is. He’s a guy who stars in that series,” Braeden told EW, laughing. “It’s very unfortunate. First of all, I came back from hip surgery. I was off for three weeks. I’ve doubled my work, 30 to 50 pages a day for me, alone. Everyone knows that I’m exhausted. I was not about to appear on a show for two lines, because that’s what it amounted to.”
“His choice of words bothered me,” Braeden added. “It seems to me like a young whippersnapper, having seen himself on a few covers, who’s received a few awards, is now suddenly suffering from the first signs of hubris. I’ve been in the business for 50 years. I’ve seen people come and go and I’m still here.”
Braeden thought the matter was all in good humor. “If he is a worthy adversary, he’d better not cross my path. I will let bygones be bygones.”
Funny! No one really cares what NPH has to say. He still has both original hips, so who cares. I mean, really! That’s not entirely true, Hollywood does care about NPH more so than James Franco, it’s just that it’s James’ turn to host the Oscars next year, not Neil’s.
~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 12.17.10~
MAORI ON GOOGLE BOOKS! – ALREADY I HAVE ISSUES WITH GOOGLE LABS – BOOKS NGRAM VIEWER
[AI suggestion - perhaps NGRAM needs to go back to the chalk board phase]
If I was naive enough to believe Google’s “Books Ngram Viewer” that claims to count words based on 5 million published books and track their trends in terms of amount of times words appear in books (quantitative research), the Maori people of New Zealand would not fare well. The results would have me rehashing that archaic dead-end term, “racism” asap. Maori don’t like doing that in this enlightened age. It does not get people very far, because it immediately casts Maori in the light of having to drive a car fueled by ‘white man’s guilt.’ When you drive on whenua (land) that has tar seal put on it and called a “road,” that would be too much “irony” for a Maori to handle in any given day. Besides, why should we? That’s something that would appeal as a college student. The past is healing.
The tracking tool claims (my search conducted between years 1920 and 2008) that the word “Maori” peaked as a topic of interest in books in the year of 1978 (aprox). Since then it’s plummeted and currently, the usage of the word Maori is as low as its status listed in 1950 findings that’s given in the little graph that pops up. Already, this NGRAM Viewing tool of Google is capable of starting civil wars. I don’t like it much at all so far.
Being scientific, with heart and soul – this means: a) Maori are extinct again – a typical ‘pseudo-scientific’ finding (yawn!) Maori have learned to ignore since being able to read maps – but this time in a literary sense.
Already this supposedly revolutionary tool of technology is spitting out results generating ‘information’ that is rather boring quite frankly in my humble opinion. I say this because such ‘information’ has been so done TO DEATH already! (more…)
JOHN KEY SINGS: SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO — LONDON AND HAWAII
New Zealand’s Prime Minister appeared on The Edge radio station to warble a Christmas ditty before he jets out with family for the holiday season. Topics of conversation were: What to get Will & Kate for their wedding present next year, a niece’s wedding in London and enjoying mohitos and corn-fed beef in Hawaii where The Keys plans to vacation this year.
Go here to see the flattest rendition of this song in any Kiwi pub’s history, but hey, 200% effort for leaping in and being a sport. What a hoot. Happy Holidays New Zealand. :)
~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 12.15.10~
THE ELISE DOLL – PART II
This second photo of The Elise Doll is even more funnier than the first photograph of this plastic likeness of Angelina Jolie selling on eBay.
Elise means: “The name Elise comes from the French origin. In French The meaning of the name Elise is: Consecrated to God. An abbreviation of Elisabeth, derived from a French diminutive of Elizabeth.” The name is beautiful. A bit of a waste on a doll although I’m sure the name will be a popular babies name this year and next.
The doll does look like a cross between Jolie and Kate Middleton just a bit.That adds a whole new angle all of a sudden.
Man does Jolie’s camp know how to play chess with star alignments.
~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 12.12.10~
ANGELINA JOLIE HUMOR – THE ELISE DOLL ON EBAY
In an age where everything shiny or proven gets waxed, cast in plastic, even features copied in plastic surgery comes this image of the Elise doll, featuring the features of Hollywood star Angelina Jolie who brought this character to life in The Tourist film.
The doll is selling on Ebay for $400 and comes with these product descriptions: “Elise – Tonner Doll Repaint by Laurie Leigh. Convention Glamorous Redl on Antioinette Body.”
Go here to see this tad bit creepy trend appearing on line. What a hoot! Innocent fun? Who is Laurie Leigh?
If you need it by Christmas (December 24th) you can pay $15 extra for an “expedited shipping fee.” Lol!
~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 12.12.10~
HUMOR IN 3D – WHAT 3D GLASSES ARE REALLY FOR
E.M – has this funny pic about how 3D glasses should be used
~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 12.8.10~
LATINO HUMOR AS A SIGN OF OUR TIMES
Lol! “All violators will be turned into Salsa”… So California.
If we’re to keep relevant, this parking sign is too funny.
[Image via E.M]
~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 12.8.10~
JOHN KEY STINGS LIKE A MANUKA KING WITH A MUHAMMAD ALI PHOTO SHOOT FOR BURNS SUFFERERS
“I think I look quite good actually,” John Key the well humored Prime Minister of New Zealand reportedly remarked, after modeling an original silk boxing robe signed by American legend of sports and civil rights, Muhammad Ali, purchased by Honey New Zealand for $9,500–provided a photo could be taken of John wearing it.
The son of George Key, Mr Key was raising money for burns sufferers at a Mad Butcher and Suburban Newspapers Community Trust dinner on Friday to raise funds for the National Burn Centre.
Trust chairman Sir Peter Leitch, was delighted with the $219,000 raised. “This is going to allow the centre to get some equipment that is going to make a huge difference to burns sufferers,” he said. Fairfax Media’s Operation Heal text donations was also on the go and other fundraising efforts, and donations from Sunday Star-Times readers helped too.
Sir Peter and Lady Leitch had kicked off the campaign with a $10,000 donation, which was matched by the Hugh Green Foundation and later by the Sir William and Lady Lois Manchester Trust. Nice. Mike Morton, The Mad Butcher’s current owner was present, along with Kerre Woodham who played funny girl MC. Two morning teas with the PM sold at $20k a piece and a pink salmon neck tie he wore to the event for a laugh went for $7k. That’s a fair bit of celebrity heat being generated right there in New Zealand. Good to see.
In Hollywood here’s a manuka honeybee Ali pop cultural tribute to America-New Zealand relations as well as George Burns Hollywood star, Walk of Fame–in the spirit of the PM’s sense of humor and Kiwis generosity of spirit towards others.
Peace.
This story also featured in The Manawatu Standard. Manawatu means “stout hearted” or “to stand tall in heart” in the Maori language of New Zealand. It’s a little bit Mel Gibson Australian-American ‘naughty’ but via Scotland and Hollywood Oscar winning, like the movie Braveheart too. If you’re reading that in Hollywood and are upset that I just wrote Mel Gibson‘s name, grow up, there are no perfect people–just people learning to be better people. In this picture we have a Jewish-Kiwi King wearing an African-American muslim’s champion boxer robe of Ali–whose religious convictions prevented him from fighting at war and who doubled as a civil rights champion in the same manner Nelson Mandela has in the world today also. African-Americans aren’t offended New Zealand’s PM is wearing Ali’s robe and auctioning it off for burns victims. Um, except the one question–how exactly did Mr Key get Ali’s robe? Oops. That’s hysterical.
~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 12.5.10~
MORE TOBY CRACKS ME UP – THE GUITAR PLAYING HORSE IS LOL!
After Chiburky and coffee this morning for brunch, I read on Mario Lavandeira’s website that Katy Perry could have dated John Mayer but Russell Brand of the UK muscled on in–Brand and Perry’s Indian wedding in a Tiger sanctuary was the celebrity wedding of the year, and the rest about John and Katy ever being an item, is history.
As I watched More Toby on YouTube, footage of a horse playing a guitar made me Lol as John’s name was mentioned during the clip. It certainly adds a new meaning to Country Music. Well worth a share above for Country Music fan’s amusement today.
More Toby is not bad TV talent. If you live in Los Angeles you know these things. If Toby interned on the Jon Stewart Show, he just could be the next Jon Stewart–if he tackled politics as his comedic content. This kid’s not bad.
~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 12.1.10~
SNL, SALVIA, MILEY CYRUS PARODIES – ADULTS AS WANNABE TEENS ARE KINDA SAD
You know when you’ve arrived, when your teen slip ups, are imitated by grown adults–seeking to make a buck for corporate advertisers on television as ‘comedic actors.’
Is the zenith of America’s comedic actors to really go to drama school–to then grow up to play a teen? Okay then, read this story and watch this clip if you believe it is.
This is the case, with Miley Cyrus (18)’s life and SNL actors who don’t know what else to do except parody her.
Only in America. What ever happened to “teen bullying is not okay.” Lol! Or the topic of “predatorial jealousy of teens and young people’s success?” A parody is always a compliment in Hollywood, so let’s go with that lens on these idiots imitating Smilers.
Miley Cyrus is huge–look at these crazy kids trying to wrap themselves in her tinsel, to be entertaining! (Above). It’s even more surreal than Miley’s real-ness as a person, in person.
~Posted by Horiwood.Com, Hollywood California USA. 12.19.10~
December 20, 2010 | Categories: America, Humor, Miley Cyrus, SNL, Teenagers, Tennessee | Tags: America, Humor, Miley Cyrus, Pop Culture Commentary, SNL, Teenage Bullying, Teenagers, Tennessee | 2 Comments »